Desmond Tutu on Forgiveness:
To forgive is not just to be altruistic. It is the best form of self-interest. It is also a process that does not exclude hatred and anger. These emotions are all part of being human. You should never hate yourself for hating others who do terrible things: the depth of your love is shown by the extent of your anger.
However, when I talk of forgiveness, I mean the belief that you can come out the other side a better person. A better person than the one being consumed by anger and hatred. Remaining in that state locks you in a state of victimhood, making you almost dependent on the perpetrator.
If you can find it in yourself to forgive, then you are no longer chained to the perpetrator. You can move on, and you can even help the perpetrator to become a better person too.
But the process of forgiveness also requires acknowledgement on the part of the perpetrator that they have committed an offence. I don’t like to talk about my own personal experience of forgiveness, although some of the things people have tried to do to my family are close to what I’d consider unforgivable. I don’t talk about these things because I have witnessed so many incredible people who, despite experiencing atrocity and tragedy, have come to a point in their lives where they are able to forgive. Take the Craddock Four, for example. The police ambushed their car, killed them in the most gruesome manner, set their car alight. When, at a TRC hearing, the teenage daughter of one of the victims was asked: would you be able to forgive the people who did this to you and your family? She answered, “We would like to forgive, but we would just like to know who to forgive.” How fantastic to see this young girl, still human despite all efforts to dehumanize her.
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If you are interested in hearing more about this fascinating time in history, the following four video segments provide an excellent summary. Perhaps the most interesting aspect of the the Truth and Reconciliation Commission was how the church and state were able to work together. Solid Biblical principles were led by a man unashamed to talk about Jesus Christ as the inspiration for what they were doing. And these Biblical principles were applied to a political crisis in order to achieve national healing, all with the full support of the nation’s president.
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The story of the Truth and Reconciliation Commission, including a disgusting interview with a smug former police torturer and killer. This is a 15-minute segment from a 1997 CBS 60 Minutes episode:
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The Difficulty of Forgiveness in the TRC (7 minutes):
A five-minute video biography on Desmond Tutu:
The 2009 movie Invictus tells the true story of how Nelson Mandela used the national soccer team as another avenue for building national unity:
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