I read one time the true story of a college senior who sat alone in her room late one Saturday night, contemplating suicide. At just 22 years old, Patti was tired of life. She had already felt like she had tried everything, and was still sad and hopeless. She could not find happiness. She thought back to just four years ago that very Spring. She was then sick of high school, sick of her family, and sick of her small home town. She could not wait to get out of there and go to college. There she would be on her own, free of her parents’ rule and authority, free to finally do what she wanted to do and enjoy life for once. In college she took full advantage of that freedom, trying anything and doing everything: drugs, alcohol, boys, Spring break in Florida, and out all night every night. Patti had tried it all, and by the end of her sophomore year, she was sick of it all; sick of being sick every morning, sick of lying to professors about her late homework, sick of her parents pestering her about her low grades, and sick of friends who only wanted to party.
Patti had tried everything but studying, so finally she decided to do that. She had been a good student in high school, and before long she found that she could still get very good grades. All she had to do was spend time at it, and so she did. She poured all her energy into her studies and had a 4.0 in all her classes for two years. This made a considerable improvement in what had been a lousy grade point average. But now, for some reason, the old sadness reappeared. At first, she had done everything wrong, and ended up in deep despair. Now she had done everything right, but still there was no joy in her life. Patti knew she should be happy. She was about to graduate, her job prospects were good, and she was once again on good terms with her family. She should be very happy, but she wasn’t happy at all. So the downward spiral began. As is often the case with depression, it becomes worse when you become sad about being so sad when you should be happy. For whatever reason, Patti again found herself in a deep depression; so deep that she was even suicidal. No one or nothing was able to bring her out of it.
Patti had never been very religious and did not even have a Bible. Her roommate, however, did have a Bible, and was always saying she found it meaningful and helpful. Alone and desperate, Patti took her roommate’s Bible off the shelf, opened it up and started reading. The Bible had fallen open to the Old Testament book of Ecclesiastes, and immediately, Patti was gripped by its words.
It was a strange book. It was not at all what she expected. Patti started with the first verses of chapter one, where it said, “Meaningless, meaningless,” says the teacher, “everything is meaningless.” The rest of the book went on to say things like “I’ve tried it all. I’ve tried pleasure and I’ve tried studying, and it is all wearisome to me. I’ve tried working hard and I’ve tried goofing around, and I’m sick of it all. What good is any of it? It is like chasing the wind. Life is a heavy burden God has laid on us all. With much wisdom comes much sorrow and grief. Fools and wise people, lazy people and hardworking people; they all end up the same way, dead and buried, no better than a dead dog. So what good is it to do anything? What good is life? It’s just chasing the wind.” On and on it went.
Depressing words, indeed, but Patti liked what she was reading in an odd sort of way. She liked it because it was real, and not the rose-colored-glasses view of reality she was expecting in the Bible. Rather, it expressed just what she had been thinking after all the same attempts at happiness. This suicidal college senior found in that most hopeless of books a word of hope that made her want to live; or at least not want to die just yet. It made her want to live so she could read more of this Bible, this book that could so very accurately describe her own experiences, and the feelings of her own heart and soul. She never felt she could share any of these feelings with her cheerful, fun-loving friends. She did not have anyone she could talk to; but here, in the words of this ancient teacher, she found a kindred spirit. Here was someone who also had tried everything and was still sad and hopeless. If this book, this Bible, could see so deeply into her own heart, she wanted to know what else it had to say. Patti decided not to take her own life that night, but to read more; and to seek someone who could tell her more about God.
Of course, as Patti learned more about the Bible, she learned that it proclaimed much more than despair and hopelessness. She learned that also within the pages of that same Bible were God’s answers to her questions. God had indeed provided a way out of the despair she had in her heart. In Ecclesiastes she found a realistic and true expression of her own feelings, which led her to want to read more, and, to trust the rest of what she read. In that way, she was led to learn about Jesus, to believe in Jesus, and finally to receive his gift of salvation. Therefore, this most hopeless of all Biblical books, gave her a true hope and saved her, now and for all eternity. (continued…)
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