THE SIXTH COMMANDMENT: You shall not commit adultery. (Exodus 20:14)
What does this mean? We should fear and love God so that we lead a chaste and decent life in what we say and do, and that husband and wife love and honor each other. (From Martin Luther’s Small Catechism, 1529)
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Yesterday’s meditation told the story of Johnny Lingo. Johnny was ridiculed by the other islanders because he offered a dowry of eight cows for a wife that he could have easily received for only one cow. What does that have to do with the sixth commandment?
The commandment is “Thou shalt not commit adultery.” Along with this commandment are a whole bunch of ‘no’s’ and ‘don’ts’: no sex before marriage, no sex outside of marriage, don’t get divorced, don’t allow lust in your heart, no unclean thoughts, no unclean words, and so on. All of those prohibitions are for a good reason, are important, and are relevant. All are implied in this commandment and are explained more fully in the rest of God’s Word. When this commandment is taught, the emphasis is usually on what we should not do. The commandment itself is a prohibition: “Thou Shalt Not Commit Adultery.”
However, in his catechism explanation, Martin Luther does not emphasize the prohibition. The explanation does not say what we can’t do, but what we can and should do. It is a more positive expression of the same command.
The catechism meaning to this commandment says that what we should do is be “decent and chaste in what we say and do,” and, “that husband and wife love and honor each other.” The commandment is there to protect marriage, and we know that marriage does need protecting. But Luther does not go negative with a long list of ‘don’t you dare do this’ and ‘you better not do that’ and ‘don’t even think about looking at another woman with lust in your heart,’ etc. Rather, he says very simply that if you have a wife, or, if you have a husband, then you need to love and honor each other. The implication is that if you do that– if you are both honoring and loving the other– then all the other do’s and don’ts will not be needed.
The commandment raises questions, of course. There are exceptions to the rules on divorce, there are times when things get so bad that divorce is the only option, there are many failures in our ‘thoughts, words, and deeds,’ and confession and forgiveness are often required. There’s so much more that can be said about all of this, but that can all be dealt with at another time. Here, let’s focus on just the last phrase, the command that husband and wife love and honor each other.
The story of Johnny Lingo is a powerful example of how one man found an important way to honor his wife. We don’t trade cows for wives around here, so the story doesn’t have a direct application for us in that way; but the principle is certainly a Biblical one. We all need to look for ways to love and honor each other. Love is the word we always use. Honor is not so often used, but adds it equally important dimension. Some of the old translations say ‘cherish,’ which is another good word. Love, honor, and cherish one another, and adultery will never be a problem.
Johnny was a wise man. He knew that his negotiations with Sarita’s father would forever have an impact on the self-esteem of the woman he loved. He wanted Serita to know that he loved, honored, and cherished her. It is an example worth remembering.
Did Patricia McGerr base her short story on a real Johnny Lingo that she met or heard about when vacationing in the islands? My internet search discovered no answer. But I like how she began the story:
My trip to Kiniwata Island in the Pacific was a memorable one. Although the island was beautiful and I had an enjoyable time, the thing I remember most about my trip was the fact that “Johnny Lingo gave eight cows for his wife.” I’m reminded of it every time I see a woman belittle her husband, or a wife wither under her husband’s scorn. I want to say to them, “You should know why Johnny Lingo gave eight cows for his wife.”
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Romans 12:10 — Be devoted to one another in love. Honor one another above yourselves.
I Corinthians 13:4-7 — Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.
Hebrews 13:4 – Let marriage be held in honor among all, and let the marriage bed be undefiled, for God will judge the sexually immoral and adulterous.
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Wedding Prayer (blended from several sources)
Faithful Lord, source of love, pour down your grace upon ___ and ___ that they may fulfill the vows they have made this day. By your grace enrich their marriage so that they may love, honor, respect, and cherish one another; so that their home may be a home of love, joy, and peace. As you love them, may they love each other, doing those things which are pleasing to you and helpful to each other. Teach them to live not only for themselves, but also for you and for those around them. Give them a strong faith in Jesus Christ and a continual loyalty to you and your church. Sustain and defend them amidst all trials and temptations, and help them so to pass through this world in faith toward you, that when this brief life has ended, they may enjoy eternal life with you in your kingdom. We pray the same for all families everywhere, so that all may live in the joy and peace you have intended for them. Amen.
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I like the word ‘cherish.’ It is a good word for families to keep in mind. Webster says cherish means “to hold or treat someone with deep affection, care, and tenderness. It goes beyond simple love, implying a deliberate, active effort to protect, value, and nurture what is important to you.” Family is important. We should cherish each other and cherish our times together.
Terry Kirkman also liked that word when he heard someone use it while visiting his parents one evening in 1966. He liked it so much that he thought it would make a good song title. He wrote that song and his band, The Association, recorded it. It became the second biggest hit of that entire year (even though it is, sadly, about someone he cherished, but who did not cherish him). You can listen to it here:
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