Genesis 1:27-28a (RSV) — So God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him; male and female he created them. And God blessed them, and God said to them, “Be fruitful and multiply…”
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Not everyone chooses to get married. Not everyone who wants to get married gets the opportunity. Not every married couple chooses to have children. Not every married couple who chooses to have children is able to do so. We make different choices, we are given different opportunities, we are blessed in different ways, and God calls us to different places and situations and relationships. This meditation is not intended to cast judgement on anyone’s choices or situation in life.
In the first chapter of Genesis, God is speaking to two individuals, Adam and Eve, who are also the only two people on earth at that time. God says, “Go and have lots of children.” This is not a command to every single individual who will ever live. It is a command to all humankind in general. If not obeyed in each generation, human life on earth would disappear in just a few decades.
My grandparents came from families of twelve, eleven, ten, and seven children; typical of early 20th century families. How many families do you know today with that many children? In the last one hundred years, we have gone very far in the other direction. The replacement level for a population to survive is 2.1 births per woman. The United States’ birth rate has been below replacement level almost every year since 1971. The replacement level is currently at 1.6 births per woman. The ongoing growth in U.S. population has been sustained by immigration. (NOTE: A nation’s population does not necessarily have to grow, but it does have to sustain itself, or there are drastic economic consequences.)
There are many factors that have led to this decline, not the least of which is a shift in our culture’s attitude toward the family and children. A lifelong commitment of two people to each other in marriage, once taken for granted, is now an option being chosen by fewer couples each year. Having children (if able), also once taken for granted, is now an option being chosen by fewer couples and individuals each year. The graph above shows the top priorities of today’s teenagers. Getting married and having children ranks below a good career, lots of money, and close friends. In one survey of several hundred men and women in their early twenties, when given several options for life goals, having children came in thirteenth out of thirteen.
We need to worry about a culture that so devalues marriage and having children. The above graph illustrates the attitudes of teenagers, and one’s goals and ambitions for life do change as one gets older. But sometimes, the change of heart comes too late.
Martin Luther was once asked by a young man if he should get married to the young woman he had been seeing. Luther said wisely, “Whatever you do, you will regret it.” Of course. All of our life decisions will be cause for regret sometimes, and some decisions we will always regret. But as Christians, when we make our decisions, we should pay more attention to God’s eternal Word, than to the shifting and conflicting messages of the current culture. The Biblical emphasis on family is better than the getting the job of your dreams, having lots of friends, and making lots of money—better for your soul and better for society.
The song below by Kelsea Ballerini describes one young woman’s personal struggle with these choices. It is a wonderful song (though I regret her taking God’s name in vain in one verse). She regrets buying into the cultural message of what she should do (Rolling Stone magazine reference), but she does have her Lexapro (anti-depressant) to help her deal with it. And she wonders if the young mother she envies, perhaps envies her. Maybe she does. There is a lot going on in this two-minute song. Don’t miss it.
“I Sit in Parks” by Kelsea Ballerini, (2025)
I sit in parks, it breaks my heart ’cause I see
Just how far I am from the things that I want.
Dad brought the picnic, mom brought the sunscreen,
Two kids are laughing and crying on red swings,
We look about the same age, but we don’t have same Saturdays.
Did I miss it? By now, is it
A lucid dream? Is it my fault
For chasing things? A body clock
Doesn’t wait for, I did the damn tour
It’s what I wanted, what I got
I spun around and then I stopped
And wonder if I missed the mark.
So I sit in parks, sunglasses dark, and I
Hit the vape, hallucinate, a nursery with Noah’s Ark.
They lay on a blanket and g-d dammit he loves her,
I wonder if she wants my freedom like I wanna be a mother.
But Rolling Stone says I’m on the right road,
So I refill my Lexapro, thinkin’
Did I miss it? By now, is it
A lucid dream? Is it my fault
For chasing things? A body clock
Doesn’t wait for, I did the damn tour
It’s what I wanted, what I got
I spun around and then I stopped
And wonder if I missed the mark
Mm-mm…Mm-mm
So I sit in parks checkin’ bench marks
Tarryn’s due in June, the album’s due in March.
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Psalm 113:9 — He settles the childless woman in her home as a happy mother of children. Praise the Lord.
Psalm 127:3 — Children are a heritage from the Lord, offspring a reward from him.
Proverbs 17:6 — Children’s children are a crown to the aged, and parents are the pride of their children.
Proverbs 23:25 — May your father and mother rejoice; may she who gave you birth be joyful!
John 16:21 — A woman giving birth to a child has pain because her time has come; but when her baby is born she forgets the anguish because of her joy that a child is born into the world.
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If you have time, here is some additional wisdom in a review of this song (Peter Heck, November 11, 2025):
…What I appreciated more than anything was that Ballerini never framed this song as a political argument, a moral crusade, or a sermon. She just admits the truth modern culture works overtime to silence: the truth that every human soul longs to make an impact that outlasts its own breath. We all want to matter.
But sooner or later, everyone has to face the realization that most of what we spend our life chasing evaporates. Applause dies. Fame fades. Careers turn over. But the eternal impact we make on people lasts, and that’s especially true for the people living under our own roof.
This is why the longing for children in this song doesn’t surprise me. It’s not weakness. It’s design. Creating life, shaping a soul, raising a human being to know the God who made them – that is the most impactful act a person can perform. That is legacy. That is discipleship in its rawest form.
Yet we live in a culture that conditions young women to suppress that instinct, and treat motherhood as a threat to freedom. They come to believe they will miss out if they choose the very thing their soul is often aching for.
But here’s the quiet, subversive truth: You can’t deconstruct the design written into your own soul. You can outrun it, medicate it, redefine it, mock it, and spin it into a brand. But eventually it finds you on a park bench, sunglasses on, vape in hand, watching a toddler laugh on a swing, and wondering why your heart suddenly feels a heavy burden.
The pain is there because the design is there; and the design is there because the Maker put it there.
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