(…continued… first paragraph is repeated from yesterday) There are many Bible verses that speak to this sort of thing; not to mention the commandment that says “Thou shalt not bear false witness against thy neighbor.” In his Small Catechism explanation of this commandment, Martin Luther expands the meaning of the command to beyond telling lies, writing (on the basis of many other Scriptural commands): “We should fear and love God so we do not lie about, betray, or slander our neighbors. Instead, we should defend them, speak well of them, and interpret and explain their actions and words in the kindest possible way.” This does not happen enough in most conversations. But think about it— “explain their actions in the kindest way.” That is a really good idea, and is something we should all work on. Our conversations would be very much improved, and far more God-pleasing.
Swiss physician, counselor, and author Paul Tournier (1898-1986) wrote in one of his books:
If one spends a little time listening to the general run of conversations, of at least 80% consists of denunciations of what is unjust, scandalous, (and stupid), badly organized, or defective in the world, one gets some idea how much mental energy is wasted in arguments which lead to no real change.
A change in our attitude could make us see that we would play a more useful part in the helping of our world by ‘putting right the wrongs about which there is something we can do’—those that we ourselves have committed. As Goethe said, “If everyone swept outside his own door, the whole town would be clean.”
In our conversations we can examine the opinions and actions of others for everything of which we do not approve, in order to criticize them, and in our own case, look for all of the good things we think and do, in order to boast about them and use them as a weapon against others. This is an attitude that impoverishes and embitters, and leads only to anger and arguments. We can also examine what others say for a side of the truth that has thus far escaped our notice, and for what God wants through their witness to show us what is wrong with ourselves. This is an attitude that enriches discussion, making it joyful, fruitful, and purposeful.
I do not object to the new rules against using the word stupid in many situations. It is not good to call someone else stupid, and that is how the word is usually used on the playground. But that is not the same as humbly seeing the stupidity in ourselves, and not only pointing out the stupidity in everyone else. The Bible calls this humility, and that is an important virtue. We need humility to counter the pride that is at the core of so much of our sin. Taking an honest look at ourselves, and our stupid sinfulness, is an important first step toward confession and forgiveness, which is at the center of our relationship with God.
This is my lesson for today. It is one I am still working on in my own conversations, and not always doing very well at it. Lord, have mercy.
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“One of the greatest sins is perhaps a sort of sadness and crabbiness. It is easy to spend our time with a few friends, criticizing others, saying that we are fed up and that nothing is like it was in the good old days. This state of spirit, which you can read on people’s faces, is a real cancer, and it can spread right through the body. Sadness, like love or joy, comes in waves that spread. We are all responsible for the atmosphere around us. We can nourish people with trust and love, or we can poison them with sadness and criticism.”
–Jean Vanier, in The Plough, #41. page 8.
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Luke 6:41-42 — (Jesus said), “Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother’s eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? How can you say to your brother, ‘Brother, let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when you yourself fail to see the plank in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye.’”
I Corinthians 4:3-4 — I care very little if I am judged by you or by any human court; indeed, I do not even judge myself. My conscience is clear, but that does not make me innocent. It is the Lord who judges me.
I John 2:28 — Now, dear children, continue in him, so that when he appears we may be confident and unashamed before him at his coming.
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Lord, I am blind and helpless, stupid and ignorant. Cause me to hear; help me to know; teach me to do; and lead me. Amen.
–Henry Martyn, Anglican missionary (1781-1812)
P. S. Those on either side of our great political divide these days oftentimes cannot fathom the stupidity of those on the other side. Perhaps we could try, like Paul Tournier says, to “examine what others say for a side of the truth that has thus far escaped our notice.” It is usually not the case that we are good and they are evil. We oftentimes have the very same goals, but disagree on the methods of achieving those goals. If we are to get anywhere at all, we could begin by not automatically assuming that the other person is stupid. And then, as Luther says in the catechism, perhaps we could even try to “explain their actions in the kindest way.”
We will, of course, still disagree on many things, and decisions still must be made– on the national, state, and local level– not to mention in every marriage and family and friendship. We have to debate, discuss, compromise, decide, vote, and then move on. But let’s take the little girl’s advice in the video in the Emailmeditation two days ago and try to “Keep it down so we don’t all become monsters.” (Go to: EMAILMEDITATION #3068)
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