By Kathryn Butler, January 11, 2025, at: http://www.desiringgod.org . Kathryn is a trauma and critical care surgeon turned writer and homeschooling mom. She is author of The Dream Keeper Saga.
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(…continued) For so long, I had denied God and wallowed in darkness. But God never released his hold on me (Ephesians 2:1–9). In his faithfulness, by his exquisite love and grace, he drew me gently into his light.
My recovery from depression wasn’t instantaneous. Just as the illness crept upon me insidiously, so also the climb out of the gloom was long and painstaking. Even after God brought me to himself, I needed an antidepressant to muster the energy and clarity to do the next thing. Scott’s patience and support were essential, as was the guidance of a pastor when I eventually wandered into a church. Gradually, ploddingly, with professional help, much love from friends, and a steady diet of God’s word, the light dawned again. And when it did, how I rejoiced at God’s mercy!
As so often happens in depression, the light did not always stay. Depression is often a recurring illness, with further episodes lurking down the path, waiting to pounce. I struggled through the darkness again after the birth of my daughter, when my own antibodies attacked my thyroid gland. Another time, it descended without clear warning or provocation, seizing me while I watched my kids clambering through a wooden castle at a playground. Both times, the symptoms were just as debilitating as the first, and the joylessness just as painful. Becoming a Christian didn’t cure me of my depression or grant me immunity against it ever occurring again.
Yet faith has provided me with an anchor, a safe harbor in which to weather the storm. When I’m depressed, God’s presence feels remote, but thanks to truths revealed in Scripture, I know, despite my diseased perception, that he is with me (Isaiah 41:10; Matthew 28:20). I know he will never leave me or forsake me (Deuteronomy 31:6). I know he has carried me through such shadowy valleys before and has promised to remain by my side, guiding me back toward the light (Psalm 23:4). Such promises and assurances of God’s love are lifelines when misery clouds the vision and darkens the heart.
Dear friend, if the bleakness of depression envelops you, cling to God’s word. Earmark Psalms that reveal his mercy, his sovereignty, and his steadfast love and faithfulness. Return to them as the deer returns to the clear, cool stream (Psalm 42:1).
Know that you are not alone. Help is available. A return to the light is possible. If the darkness so enshrouds you that you contemplate taking your own life, tell someone, and with their help call the Suicide and Crisis Lifeline at 988, day or night. Other avenues for help include your primary doctor, the emergency room, or Christian counseling sites such as Anchored Hope or the Christian Counseling and Educational Foundation.
When depression enshrouds you, and even when you cannot discern a way forward, know that hope in him endures (1 Peter 1:3–5) and that in Christ nothing — not even the depths of depression — can tear you away from his love (Romans 8:38–39).
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Ephesians 2:4-6a — Because of his great love for us, God, who is rich in mercy, made us alive with Christ even when we were dead in transgressions—it is by grace you have been saved. God raised us up with Christ.
Isaiah 41:10 — So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.
Romans 8:38-39 — For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.
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Living Lord, give us a vision of the world, not as it is, but as it shall be. In the mire of our sadness and suffering, when the powers of evil and death threaten to overwhelm us with despair, give us hope. Help us remember that you sent Jesus, who rose from the dead. You are still our God, and you will bring all things unto yourself. Renew in us a vision of your kingdom in all its fullness. Keep that vision before us when life becomes too much for us and we are tempted to give up.
Thy kingdom come, thy will be done on earth as it is in heaven. Amen.
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