42) Unwanted

Here is one more page from the book Sometimes Miracles Hide by Bruce Carroll (see meditations #39-41), another letter that Carroll received, this one with a different perspective on the song.

Dear Bruce,

     I am writing this letter to express my grateful appreciation and to affirm how God has used your music in a truly beautiful and somewhat mysterious way.  I assume the purpose of your song is to comfort parents with less-than-perfect babies or even to encourage them to choose life rather than abortion.

     However, it spoke to me in an entirely different way.  The first time I heard it, I was driving in my car and tears began streaming down my face as God spoke to me through the words “sometimes miracles hide.”

    I’m the youngest of six children, the unplanned ‘accident.’  My nearest sibling reminded me many times over the years that I wasn’t ‘wanted’– and I don’t recall either of my parents ever denying that assertion.  I’m forty-two now, and I’ve carried shame and the feeling of being unwanted for many years.  The feeling of being unloved was buried so deep in me that it has taken lots of time and therapy to bring it out and deal with it.

     As I listened to your song that first time, I became the hidden miracle.  It no longer mattered that I was not wanted or that I was an ‘accident.’  God made me, I am His miracle, and He wants me more than I could ever imagine.

    Your song literally changed my outlook on life.  I’ve become a rather busy person– I volunteer at our church’s Mothers’ Day Out program, and I go to college full-time (my love for learning has been reborn).  I am a happier wife and a better mom to my two teenage sons.  I thank God daily for their understanding as I had to spend quite a bit of time getting myself together– and I thank God for Christian music, which is so very powerful.

     We just never know how God will use us to help others in their journey.


Psalm 139:13-16 — For you created my inmost being;
you knit me together in my mother’s womb.
I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
your works are wonderful, I know that full well.
My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place,
when I was woven together in the depths of the earth.
Your eyes saw my unformed body;
all the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be.

Psalm 8:3-5 — When I look at the sky, which you have made, at the moon and the stars, which you set in their places—  what are human beings, that you think of them; mere mortals, that you care for them?  Yet you made them inferior only to yourself; you crowned them with glory and honor.

Isaiah 41:9 — (God said), “I took you from the ends of the earth, from its farthest corners I called you.  I said, ‘You are my servant’; I have chosen you and have not rejected you.”

John 15:16a — (Jesus said), “You did not choose me, but I chose you…”


     As you go on your way, may God go with you.  May he go before you to show you the way; may he go behind you to encourage you; beside you to befriend you; above you to watch over you; and within you to give you peace.  In the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit.  Amen.      –10th century blessing