My recent wedding sermon for my grand-daughter and her Marine husband.
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Evan and Courtney, relatives and friends, grace and peace to you from our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.
It has been said that “Inside every old person is a young person asking, ‘What the heck happened?’” Well, I am asking that today, and I am probably not the only one. ‘What the heck happened’ to all those years that have gone by so fast? How can I be having a grand-daughter getting married? A few months ago, after Courtney asked me to do this, I said to Amy, “It seems like we were just recently planning your wedding to Jeff.” And it seems like not long ago that a four-year-old Courtney was asked what she thought of her two-year-old brother Caleb. She replied, “Oh, he’s an all-right guy, but he is a little rough around the edges.”
But here you are now, Courtney, with Evan, the two of you, all grown up, and ready to begin your life together. As I thought about what I would say today, I was reminded of another couple, Arnie and Delores, who were at the other end of life, celebrating their 65th wedding anniversary. Their four children hosted an open house for them, and it was a huge gathering.
They were a wonderful couple, loved by all in the church and community, and no one wanted to miss their special day. There was a little program before the lunch, and their daughter asked each of them what was their secret to having such a long and happy marriage.
Delores, the more talkative one, went first. She rattled off all the usual things: be honest, help each other out, be polite, have good communication, don’t lose your temper and if you do, don’t go to bed angry, have an occasional date night, go to church, say your prayers together, say “I love you’ often and mean it…and on and on she went. It was all good advice, but after a while, folks wanted to hear from wise old Arnie.
Finally, Delores was done, and the daughter turned to her father. She said “Dad, what would you say has been the secret to your long and happy marriage?” Arnie took the mic and said only four words, in his usual, slow drawl. He said, “Just hang in there.”
Brilliant! That is a most perfect summary of what the two of you need to do from now on. Show up day to day. Do your duty. Remember your marriage vows. Keep your promises. Help each other out. Work your way through the tough times together, and… Just hang in there.
As I thought about what Arnie said, it occurred to me that ‘just hang in there’ is really like an old guy way of saying “Semper Fidelis.” Semper Fi, for short… the Marine Corps motto since 1883… Latin for ALWAYS FAITHFUL. After all, that is what Arnie and Delores were celebrating—65 years of always being faithful to each other. And that is what the two of you are doing here today—promising to be always faithful.
I like that word ‘always.’ Similar words are steady, consistent, dependable, solid, firm, unwavering, and reliable. All good words to apply to marriage. And of course, I like that word ‘faithful.’ I’m a minister, so I have been talking about faith for fifty years. We can’t live without it, you know. In the Marines, in marriage, on the job, with friends, with God, and in all of life, now, and forever, we have to have faith. In the Marines, Evan, along with your physical training and readiness, you pledge your faithfulness to your fellow Marines. In marriage, Courtney and Evan, your life together will depend on your faithfulness to each other. And all of life is best lived in faithfulness to God, now, and in trusting God for our eternal life. Semper Fi… in the Marines, in your life together, and in your relationship with your God.
Or, as Arnie said, ‘Just hang in there.’ Don’t be surprised if there are times when all you can do is ‘just hang in there,’ until the storm passes, and you get back to calmer days. And there will be storms. Ask any couple here that has been married for more than two weeks– there will be storms. And marriages in the military face some unique challenges. I have a deep appreciation for our military, and those like you, Evan, who are willing to serve. I appreciate the sacrifices you all, and your spouses, must make in order to protect us and our way of life. Family life in the military can be tough. Just hang in there, you two. Be always faithful. Semper fi.
It won’t be easy. I can imagine there were times that Arnie would have liked Delores to be a little less talkative and give him some peace and quiet. And I can imagine there were times that Delores wished Arnie was able to communicate a little more and a little better. But they both kept hanging in there; and then they were blessed– with children and grandchildren and great-grandchildren and friends galore– all celebrating with them, 65 years of being faithful.
I want to say something about two of the Bible verses you selected, and, two of the songs.
First, the Bible verses. Jeremiah 29:11 was Courtney’s confirmation verse. It was a good verse for that day, and an even better verse for today. It is a word of hope and promise from God, who says, “For I know the plans I have for you, plans to give you hope and a future.” God’s gift of life is an adventure in the rugged wilderness of this wonderful, and sometimes terrifying, world. Make sure you always let God be your guide through this wilderness.
Proverbs 3:5-6 tells you how to do that: “Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths.” Those wise words are said in the context of how that passage begins a few verses earlier, where it says, “Let love and faithfulness never leave you.” There it is again—faithful. That word appears over 200 times in the Bible. Always trust and be trustworthy, always love, always be faithful.
Now, the songs. The song at the beginning was “You Are in Love” by Taylor Swift. I don’t know much about Taylor Swift. I think she’s married to a famous football player; and she must be a singer, too. Anyway, I looked up the lyrics. I didn’t quite understand all the words, but it does talk about being in love, and that is why you two are here today. It is always love that gets a marriage started; but then it always takes something else to keep it going. Always. It takes promises to keep something like this going for 65 years. Marriage isn’t ‘just a piece of paper,’ like we hear so often these days. Marriage is a promise, and the purpose of the marriage vows is that when you fall out of love, and that will happen sometimes, the vows will keep you together until you fall back in love again. You will frustrate, disappoint, and get tired of each other. It happens to the best of us. But in a few minutes, you will make a promise to just hang in there, and to be always faithful.
The recessional song is from a time when I was familiar with the music. It is by Stevie Wonder, who way back in 1970 released “Signed, Sealed, Delivered, I’m Yours.” The title of the song calls to mind the getting and sending of letters, which is all these two had when Evan was in Boot Camp. In those many days apart, you looked forward to the mail; and, you looked forward to this day, when you would begin your lives, together.
Well, here we are, Courtney and Evan. We are all very happy for you. We will miss you all the way out there in the California desert, but you will be together. We wish you all God’s blessings. You will be in our prayers. May God be with you and you with Him in your life together. Amen.
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